Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, we have tweets about Barry Bonds,ironside. Christopher Hitchens,Where Is Ironside Gym Located?. and Tim Tebow. We also learn why dogs might be starting to get a little mad at us.
Enjoy!
darren rovellThe US government has reportedly spent more than $75 MILLION to get Barry Bonds a sentence of probation & house arrest.via web · powered by
Michael Ian BlackStill bummed that God killed Christopher Hitchens.via web · powered by
Louis PeitzmanFacebook Timeline tells you how many people wrote on your wall for your birthday each year, so you can see how far you’ve come/fallen.http://www.ironsideeffects.info/sil-nya-enough-iron.via web · powered by
Rich Lowtax Kyankadollar slots are like tim tebow: they dont do anything for three quartersvia web · powered by
Sean GabayWe’re probably calling every dog by its wrong name.via· powered by
Alec SulkinLL Cool J’s mother is a real instigator.via web · powered by
Jenny MollenI wish instead of reading “it’s complicated” people’s relationship statuses just said ” I’m fucking a guy who won’t call me his girlfriend”via web · powered by
Eugene MirmanOn an airplane with the door about to close. Not sure if I have enough time to download Words With Friends & get kicked off.via· powered by
Pat HealyDo you think Herman Cain’s back to figuring out a way to construct a crust entirely out of pepperoni?via web · powered by
First World ProblemsIt takes more than 2 minutes for the heated seats on my luxury sedan to get warm.via· powered by
Fake DispatchBREAKING: Job interviews of the future: “Well, your resume speaks well of your abilities. Now let’s check out your Facebook Timeline.”via web · powered by
Paul ScheerI like going to 99 Cent stores because it’s like getting a sneak peek of the world after an Apocalypsevia· powered by
Jon Heymanbarry bonds was sentenced to spend 30 days in his beverly hills mansion. i hope the feds are pleased with their effortsvia web · powered by
Rick ReillyDo u realize w/out this hilariously fun Tebow story sports would be left w/ nothing but alleged pedophiles and coke dealers?via· powered by
Lou BrutusDEAR BARRY BONDS: You should totally open a chain “Barry Bonds Bail Bonds & Baseball Bulking Boutiques.” You’re welcome.via· powered by